Barbies
by jjevans14
Summary: "I wish I could go back to playing Barbies in my room / They never say that you gotta grow up quite this soon. How fast things change / Now I'm here and all I wanna do. Is go back to playing Barbies in my room" One-shot.


**HI! My name's JJ! I don't want to do too much of an intro because I want you to read the story, but just note that this takes place a little after Season 9 Episode 19, "Alex Annie Alexis Anne".**

 **Alex is probably one of my favorite Supernatural characters because she doesn't have a fully developed storyline. Like, we all know what happened to her with the vamps and everything but she's such an interesting character and I wish they'd dive a little deeper into her character like they do with Claire.**

 **Also, this story is based off of P!nk's "Barbies" which is actually how I named the story and what I listened to when I wrote it. I highly recommend listening to it while you read to get the full emotion!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural or "Barbies" by Pink**

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It was dark by the time her dark eyes fluttered open. A headache pounded in her skull as she dragged herself out of the foreign bed, trying to be quiet as to not wake the stranger sleeping next to her. She pulled on the slinky black dress that laid in a forgotten pile on the floor and grabbed her jacket that was draped lazily on the back of the couch. A wad of cash brushed against her fingertips as she slipped her hand inside it's pockets. Her shoes dangled from her fingertips and she slipped silently through the apartment's door.

The streets were basically empty, something that was unusual for the busy part of town she was in. She kept her head down, being careful not to make eye contact with anyone that might be out. A breeze blew her dark hair from her shoulders and she sniffed, wiping her nose with her elbow as she turned down an alley and entered a small 24 hour convenience store.

The lighting in the bathroom wasn't ideal, but the girl wasn't in the position to be picky. Her eyes were puffy, dark circles and redness made her look much older than the mere 19 she was. Splashing her face with cool water, she tried to rub the stray mascara and eyeliner from her face. Sometimes she pretended that when she wiped her face clear of makeup, she could start fresh, forget about the night she's had and the events that had regretfully taken place.

Her phone buzzed in her coat pocket, but she ignored it as she grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and smiled sweetly at the perverted clerk at the counter. He smiled back, eyeing her body in a way that made her shiver. With a nod, she smiled back slyly and took the beer from the counter, popping it open and taking a gulp as she walked out the door.

As her phone buzzed again, she fished into the pocket and pulled it out. Five missed calls. All from Jody. All within the past three hours. She rolled her dark eyes, muted her phone and shoved it back into her pocket before taking another swig of her beer and tossing the empty bottle into the trash.

The transition to normal life hadn't been easy. Not for her. How was she supposed to go back to being a regular girl after everything those vamps had put her through? After those years of psychological and mental and emotional torture, she didn't even know who she was anymore. Alex and Alexis didn't feel right, tainted with disturbing and abusive memories she'd rather forget. Annie and Anne felt just as wrong, left and forgotten was that innocent little girl she was all those years ago. It didn't feel like she could just…become her again.

She cut through a park, it was the fastest way back to Jody's house and sometimes it helped her. Helped her remember the (few) good memories she had back before those vamps took her. Her grandma, the only thing left connecting her with the innocent part of her life, was probably dead which meant that transforming herself back into that naïve and confident little girl was nearly impossible. She's seen the evil in the world, she's witnessed it.

Without much thought, the girl plopped herself down on a swing and dropped her shoes on the ground next to her. She rested her head on the chain, feeling the cool night air nip at her bare arms and back, but welcoming the peacefulness it brought her. Her feet started to rock against the grass, moving her forward and backward at a relaxing pace.

A hot pink object hidden in the grass caught her attention, it was practically radiating in the moonlight. She felt the small plastic shoe between her fingertips as she picked it up and held it. Immediately recognizing the accessory, she smiled with nostalgia. Smiled at an easier time, a time where she only thought about when her chicken nuggets were ready or being home before dark.

Her lip went between her teeth as she thought, as she reminisced in the days that she'd never get back. Days that were cruelly ripped from her, never to be seen again. A tear escaped her eye and she internally smacked herself for letting it fall but didn't do anything about it travelling down her cheek. A few more slipped out, a few more she ignored until she found herself hardly being able to hold back sobs powerful enough to shake her entire body.

And so she sat there, on her swing. Crying and remembering and regretting. Thinking about what could have been and what never was. Wishing that she could go back. Back to playing Barbies in her room.


End file.
